16 Thoughts - August
Welcome to 16 thoughts today is August 16th 2026 and here are some thoughts.
August is the Sunday of summer. June is Friday, Saturday is July and now it’s Sunday. Literally.
Why do I write? This is my 8 month streak of posting on the 16th! But why do I write so much? I must love it. I’ve been writing about my life, like it’s some captain’s log, since as long as I can remember. Sometimes I go back and read my journals, and it feels like visiting an old apartment, or an old school. It’s familiar but we don’t belong anymore. Journaling helps me to feel like a participant in my day to day and is a big part of my mornings, to ease anxiety, plan for my day, or shake out any dreams, obsessions, or fantasies. And now my writings take many forms; scripts, songs, journals, this blog series, now orchestral scores. But doing 16 thoughts every month on the 16th has been a test of my personal creative accountability. I do it for me and for anyone else who has thoughts and is curious about mine.
We are so lucky that goats ate some berries and we have coffee now. Like, do yourself a favor and have a coffee ice cream and read about the history of coffee and the spread of coffee throughout the world with the Ottoman Empire. Super interesting, but it all comes back to a farmer in Ethiopia who listened to his goats when they told him to eat the little cherries and party all night.
I have had the pleasure of going to two Liberty games this season and let me tell you, they are a ton of fun and one of my favorite things is the Timeless Torches. They are the senior dance troupe that performs at the games and they have these sweet jerseys with their ages as their number. Isn’t that awesome? Shaking ass and confident aging is where it’s at. Check them out the next time you go to a game.
Isn’t it nutty when someone you know has a life that is weaved in with yours, even possibly for years, but you don’t know it? People living parallel lives so separately.
I remember in 6th grade for some reason we were talking about who was the most famous person in the world. This was the year 2000 and my gay ass rose my hand and said “Cher.” My teacher said it was probably some big criminal/terrorist or world leader. Which I remember really thinking about a lot the next year when I heard Osama bin Laden’s name for the first time. Now I wonder who the most famous person in the world is… and how I wish it were Cher. What world that would be.
Hello thank you for your attention this far I’m very glad to be at #7 which is for the god damn 7 train station at Court Square. This escalator and elevator have been out for over 2 weeks and it’s very frustrating. I am fortunately able to walk up the stairs to get to the 7 train but there are a lot of people and we are now all forced to use the stairs. This is the district that Claire Valdez is running for Congress person and I wonder if she knows. Claire are you reading this? Can you do anything? Can you tell Mayor Mamdani too? Maybe I should write to them directly rather than just on my blog.
Ever since starting elementary school I have been in environments where I don’t understand the language being spoken around me. Growing up in St. Paul, MN, many kids spoke Hmong at my elementary school, and now I hear a lot of Spanish at work, Polish in my neighborhood, I’m working with a lot of Italian for some singing projects, and I’m gearing up for a trip to Germany next month and feeling pressure to practice German. I remember when I was young, I always felt insecure when I couldn’t understand the language around me and I’m trying to release that. To practice new languages you have to give up and accept that you are bad at it. It’s very frustrating but also can be very funny, pero yo quiero intendar.
In the release of insecurities I have made an oath to myself while Jupiter passes through Leo over the next 12 months, to be the most confident version of myself. All the time. With Deb, with my friends, with my family, at work, in the shower, putting on makeup, cleaning my kitchen, taking out the garbage, writing my blog, posting on IG, all of it. Do it all as a cosplay of the most confident version of myself. And not in a caricature way, not like Peter Pan cocky, because I don’t think that’s the most confident version of myself. So far the most confident version of myself has helped me tell people when I was hurt by something that happened, she’s been able to asks for help after I’ve tried and tells people when I messed up. So far so good, I hope she helps me do a little outreach and emailing.
Everyone needs a place to relax outdoors. Full stop. It is the nicest most beautiful thing lying in the grass with a breeze through the trees and clouds overhead. I wish I had a yard.
Gesamtkunstwerk is the idea of a total art form that encompasses music, theater, visual art, architecture, fashion etc. It’s an idea that Richard Wagner made popular and I kind of love it. It’s how I see life, that everything fits together beautifully and when it is done with such intention in a play or opera it really is something special and makes more of a lasting experience I think.
Another way I’m trying to live right now is through the goddess of the Sacred Party girl. This is the hype girl who you meet out and become besties with, the ones who remind you of your power, especially when you’re shaking ass. This idea is from the astrologer Madi Murphy that I’m choosing to embody.
Laudate feels like the most Roman word.
Okay so my New Years Resolution of no fried food is still in effect and this current streak of no fried foods is only 2 days though. But tomorrow makes 3 days if I don’t have fried food. It’s honestly been a really good commitment and while I do still have a little fried food I’ve cut way back and I feel a lot better. The other added side effect is I’ve come to have a new appreciation for bread. Growing up in the early 200s and being on atkins and southbeach from a young age I associated all carbs as bad and I didn’t realize how clumped together fried foods and breads were to me. It’s nice to keep them separate.
Mars is going into cancer which is my 2nd house of assets which yes money, but dang your body too. My body is an aching thing no matter what I do. You work out, it hurts from working out. You don’t work out, it hurts from not being strong enough. My feet in particular have taken a beating the last month and I think I’ve got tendonitis in my piggie that went to the market.
Mia Tia Claudia esta muerta. We buried her ashes last week in Michigan and I got to see some extended family and hear stories from Claudia’s friends. You can’t gain more people who you’ve known your whole life and I feel myself at this turning point where I’m not the youngest in my family, and I’m not the oldest. I feel like a hinge between generations holding stories I’ll soon forget if no one asks. Ever since I was young, I was very sentimental about death and it brought me closer to my Aunt Claudia who also had a lot of grief and loss in her life. Grief is weird, it has the power to change your habits, and rewire your mind. Death is inevitable and universal yet grief feels too intimate and often times even mysterious within ourselves. But I have to say, since Claudia’s passing, I have felt a lot of comfort from my grief in general. It has been my pattern to feel grief and guilt so tightly wound and something about her going has made me feel my grief from a grounded place, guilt free. Sometimes death feels overreaching, it feels like it grabs people and leaves others. Sometimes death feels cruel, playing with it’s food before devouring it. But since Claudia has passed death feels like a halo watching me and saying “Not yet, keep going baby girl.”
The great Kidnie stone in Forrester, Michigan
