The Mars Pluto Dance

May 3

I lost my whole blog log.

I decided that the billionaire owner of google doesn’t deserve my $2 a month I was paying to have more storage, so I had to delete a bunch of stuff off my google drive. Honestly, I felt like a god damn monk detaching myself from former files and pictures. I don’t need you - expense report from 2018 when I got audited. I don’t need you - blurry selfie I took when I was drunk in 2020. I don’t need you - random contract from random subletter in 2022. But one thing I deleted that I didn’t mean to was the log of all my blogs since I made my website. Thankfully, I’ve got them on my website and I can copy and paste my way to a new log.

Anyway… what I’d really like to talk to y’all about is this Mars Pluto dance I’ve been whirled into the last 6 months.

I’ve touched on this a bit in November Thought #12 but this opposition has FORCED me to stand up for myself against bullies. Here were the highlights

November 3rd - Mars and Pluto had an opposition while Pluto was still in Capricorn and Mars was in Cancer.

I had a BIG fight with my dad this day and it wasn’t a child fighting a parent. It was an adult fighting another adult and I won. I won because he was wrong and I was right and I didn’t back down. The confidence that this grew in me had a boiling effect and I could feel the steam rising and powering engines I didn’t even know I had. I felt the power of the ground I was on and no one was going to push me around. My father and I have always had difficulties talking to one another and I think this broke something between us that needed to break. I can only speak for myself, but since this fight when I speak to him, I’ve felt less like a child who is wrong and more like an adult with differing opinions and facts to back them up. It’s been a big change in our relationship.

Also at this time, I was asked by an opera company that I respect to put together an audition self tape for their upcoming show of Don G happening in January. I love that opera, and I wanted to do it so badly but because of the intense emotional fatigue I felt moving my family out of the house and the fight with my dad, I wasn’t able to sing. I apologized and let them know I was under a lot of stress and to let me know the next time they needed someone but I wouldn’t be available for this project.

Dec. 6th - Mars stations retrograde in Leo (meaning Mars is going back through all the crap it just went through)

This week was big for me professionally. I had just come off a FANTASTIC Queer’ecital show where we dissected the church service and reclaimed the ritual for queerness. Something that holds a lot in the relationship between me and my dad, being a queer daughter to a man who hates queerness. Because I so tied my work life and my creative life I put this show on at work, and at the time I was also being quite terrorized by my boss. He has an infectious nature that can be both good and bad, and it was creating a lot of anxiety in me. He also made me feel convinced that the disrespectful nature in which he spoke to me was somehow deserved. However, because of the confidence I was slowly gaining, this was the week that I gathered enough courage to say “There is no tipping point at which you get to be mean to me.”

Jan 2nd - Mars Rx opposes Pluto (Mars in Leo, Pluto in Aquarius)

Big on the collective front of terrible people in power, obviously. We saw Trump inaugurtaed seated with all the billionaires, including the one who wants to take $2 from me every month to have dominion over my amount of gigabites on my google. How stupid - you really need that $2? Ugh don’t get me started.

In my little war against the oppressive boss, this was the week I found out he deceived another colleague when hiring them, saying they would be salaried after 3 months, only to find out he had nothing to back that up with and wasn’t planning to do it. Despicable practice in my opinion, but it was one person’s word against another so I tried to stay out of it. This was also the week the Don G would have been happening so my mind was on a world of what ifs. I was getting a lot of tarot readings as you do in the beginning of the year, and I was seeing some forward momentum with Rita Libretto and longing for time to work on my own things and not for someone who undervalued me.

Jan 21 - Pluto Cazimi (Pluto and the sun come together)

This signature is basically the underworld being lit up with a spotlight and it coincided with King Trump having his huge party and Elon Musk Nazi saluted on the president’s seal. I wanted to stand up to bullies.

Fast forward to March/April - LOTS OF ASTROLOGY
Mercury Retrograde
Venus Retrograde
Eclipse Season
North Node and Saturn looming over all of it
Final Mars and Pluto Opposition

My courage needed these months to grow. I knew that I was not happy in this job, I knew that I was not happy working for someone who was so belittling all the while encouraging me like they had some end goal in mind, when really it was all a mask for incompetence. Over this month, I brought in a mediator because I thought it was best for the business if someone other than me could teach these boys how to act like adults in the work place and how to speak respectfully to their employees. At first, it seemed like they would be open to learning and generously I thought it was going to all work out. But then, just as Saturn in my 10th house joined the North node, my boss created a document stating completely untrue and false claims of why I was doing such a poor job that they no longer wanted me to work there. So, I decided to not finish out my contract and save myself another 2 months of torment from a bully. And, as this Pluto and Mars opposition made its 3rd and final transit, I am standing firmly in my power and integrity, knowing that I tried everything I could to get someone to understand that authenticity and respect are the only way to interact with me. And since you can’t offer that, I can’t offer me.

And funnily enough, that same opera company came back around and asked me to sing on their concert of new work which is much more exciting to me than another Don G. So, that’s what I’ll be doing tonight and tomorrow, for probably the last time at Art Haus. Excelling in my art on the grounds of my spells while a bully hides their face, knowing they wronged someone who did nothing but demand respect and help when help was needed.

This is a taste of how I use astrology to see the patterns in my life and grow with the archetypal stories as a metaphorical guides. It’s been a really hard few months for me but I feel free now to create and step into my artistry with confidence like I never have before. I fully believe that this learning curve has set me up to stand up to bigger and badder bullies with integrity and ferocity and I pray that I grow more courage and can inspire more people to stand up to the bullies in their life too.